Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Paromita Bardoloi shares with a young woman, the lessons she has learnt on what it means to be an empowered woman
Dear Mukta,
This letter was a promise, I made long back; but time has been such a scarce resource. But here I am. I was so happy to see you that day at CP. You told me how two years in France just passed by. And now you are again back to do your PHD.
You wanted to know about many things. I am often amazed at your questions that too just in your early twenties. I shall try to answer as much as I can; and trust life to take you the best way.
Sweetheart, every human being has his or her religion and if you are observant you can always find one’s religion. For many it is fear, for some it’s money, for some its goodness and so one. And each one chooses their religion. That religion is what defies our choices, our behavior and may be ‘our destinies.
Yes! I am coming to our favorite topic. Relationships. I have learnt that the highest form of respect sometimes you can offer someone is letting them be. We all make choices. Sometimes it’s so hard but we need to know that we are NOT a part of someone’s happiness or destiny. Hard it might be but just trust your destiny, God, karma or whatever you call. Let it go. One day you would know ‘why it never happened.’
Know your history. You will know ‘why some things are important to you as a woman.’ My history comes from my father who was born and brought up in a village. I was born in a very sleepy small town. When I was a child, I have run across fields that were already reaped. The left over stumps would cut my tiny feet. But I ran each day under the blue sky. Yes, it did hurt when I washed my feet with warm water every evening. But I was ready to pay that price. Freedom is my history and there is always a price you pay.
The most important lesson, I learnt as a woman is to trust people. There are times I have seen that most women go through this phase (I went through too) ‘what will happen if I am not in his/her life?’ Believe me; everyone can take care of themselves. I truly trust when they say, they do not want to do this or want me in their lives. I think the bitterest relationships are those when we don’t trust others and keep giving ourselves to them; and finally we learn that they are living another life without acknowledging our presence.
Another empowering lesson I learnt is to ‘choose the battle well before fighting.’ Personally, I had fought many a battles which were not even important. For example, as, I am 28 the whole of universe seems to be asking the big question, “When will the big day happen?” I too instinctively decided to fight it out giving reasons and stressing myself. Suddenly wisdom dawned and I realized that this is one battle that I need not fight. My marriage is not a matter of national interest, so next time I went through the same question, I decided to smile. And it was just so easy. In gist, think twice ‘which battle you really, want to fight.’
Today as I am writing this to you the streets are all lighted. It is Diwali. Wish you all light and happiness. And finally, you know what; no one’s life is perfect. Yes, we break up, we fight with best buddies, we mess up and unforeseen things happen. But make sure everything leaves you with a life lesson, so that whenever you tell your story, you tell the most powerful one.
Trust life, love yourself.
Love, Baa (Baa means elder sister in Assamese, which is actually the short form of Baidew)
Pic credit: Theresa (Used under a Creative Commons license)
Proud Indian. Senior Writer at Women's Web. Columnist. Book Reviewer. Street Theatre - Aatish. Dreamer. Workaholic. read more...
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
Please enter your email address