Why Me

Posted: September 27, 2012

Guest Blogger Lavanya Sampath is a young working mum, an Indian living abroad, a budding entrepreneur and a singer. Music, arts and photography are her passion. In her own words, “I jot down my personal & professional experiences to reach out to women in similar situations.”

Lord Ganesha is known to be the Remover of obstacles. A few days ago was his birthday and tomorrow yours truly adds on another fold to her age.  As I pray to him for peace and sanity, I look back and see what the year has been like for me.

Started with standing on top of the world – literally – my year took off on a great note. A wonderful sea change saw a sea of emotions as well getting acquainted to a new place and a new lifestyle. With it came a new flavor of life, more time with my little daughter and seeing her speak full sentences, new travels, incredibly new cuisines, new people to meet and a new schedule to work on.

There were trying times as some of my plans changed and materialized into other long-term goals, but the exploration carried on non-stop.  But in all this, I did not see the mighty storm that was coming my way. A pleasant surprise of an addition to the family came on board and we were thrilled to bits. Our stars were thanked, the perfect timing for a sibling was cheered for and we were waiting with bated breath to confirm this news, so that we could share it with out near and dear ones.

sad womanBut Alas, Ganesha felt he had an obstacle or two to give us or rather nature took an unpleasant turn and gave us little choice but to be parted with our yet-to-be-touched little one(s) – they were twins!

Deep inside, I am crying, asking myself ‘Why me’?

I am unable to get my confidence back. I do not want to talk to people, anyone who knows my situation and wants to sympathize with me. All the great new changes that came in my life now seem like big mountains for me to climb. I am unable to get a grip of who I am and where I am in my life. All the great things that I can accomplish are just looming at me, as I do not have the strength to complete them.

Why does God choose just a few people to play with? Why are we given something so special and then asked to part with it? Why is it so hard to let go of something, which came so close to you and then eluded away? Why? Why?

There is no end to my ‘Why’s!

I could have wallowed within myself as I have been doing last few days or I could share this experience with other women out there – either ways nobody other than our parents know about this. I did not write this article to get your sympathy for me.  I am writing this because I know there are people in similar situations out there with a huge baggage – wailing inside, blaming themselves and losing their nerves.

I do not have answer on what you should or should not do, but I sure do want to say that it will get better. As that’s the hope I have right now.

I wonder how I will spend my birthday this year – it is going to be tough to celebrate, but what a year it has been…….

Pic credit: Crystal Artwork (Used under a Creative Commons License)

 

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Comments

5 Comments


  1. I ask myself the same question everyday of my life… I have no answers for you, but I sympathise with you.

  2. It is not only you that asks the question. We have all asked it on one or the other occasion. Losing a parent or a spouse when most needed also raises the question ‘why me?’ It is not any one or the other person. It is EVERYONE who faces a crisis picks up his/her resolve and moves on. There is just one way to deal with it – By accepting it and facing it. I’ve had my share of “why me” situations and neither facing it nor accepting it has been easy. But it does change one’s perspective and enables one to empathize with others in a similar situation.

  3. Lavanya, perhaps God puts those strong people in such situations who He feels will be able to bear it! He has faith in you…. You keep your faith in Him!

  4. It’s a cliché but we ask “Why me?” only when hit by troubles and not when showered with blessings. We take the good things without questioning, why not the bad ones then? God giveth and He taketh away. My parents faced what you have gone through. 24 years and I wasn’t even aware that I am my parents’ 2nd child, not their 1st. But when my father passed away and I was toughening up to support my mom, she kept wishing the son was alive to support us. It was probably a bigger blow for me, that she found a non-existent person more reliable than me. I shared this to show that I’m not being insensitive to your plight.

    A creator has no obligations to take care of his creation for eternity, who’s to accuse and judge him if he chose to just destroy us all in a sudden whim? And yet, he gives us so much, so why complain when he takes something? Just trust in him, and he will give you more blessings in the future.

  5. Lavanya, all of us do have our share of “Why Me?” occasions.So do I. This is what I do to overcome such situations- Listen to good music, talk to friends(the situation that I made me upset would definitely not come into picture). Or I would do Glass painting or read something.I would go to Church- not for the Mass and I would sit in a corner for quite some time;it helps to calm myself.In short you can try out your own ways which would help you divert your thoughts.

    Do think of people who are underprivileged- the dying patients who badly want to live,the orphans who long for a mom’s love…..Aren’t you in a better situation than them?If you are interested you even can go to an orphanage/hospital and do what ever you can do for them.

    Move on….Just move on..

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