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Is an abusive marriage, which sees domestic violence, similiar to the Stockholm Syndrome?
According to the 2011 UN Women Report, nearly 39 per cent of men and women in India think it is justifiable for a man to beat his wife. A more recent report (State of the World’s Children, 2012: UNICEF) says that 57% male adolescents and 53% female adolescents in India feel that husbands were justified in beating their wives “under certain circumstances”.
These statistics, especially what the female respondents think, remind me of the so-called Stockholm Syndrome – also called terror bonding or traumatic bonding, a phenomenon in which victims display compassion for and even loyalty to their captors. It was first widely recognized after a Swedish bank robbery in 1973 during which for six days, thieves held four Stockholm bank employees hostage at gunpoint in a vault. When the victims were released they hugged and kissed their captors, declaring their loyalty even as the kidnappers were being taken to jail.
A well known case was that of heiress Patty Hearst who was abducted by the Symbionese Liberation Army in 1974. She famously became their accomplice, adopting an assumed name and abetting the radical political group in a bank robbery.
Perhaps the most widely publicized case of this syndrome was that of Jaycee Lee Dugard, who spent 18 years in captivity. During all these years, she assisted her alleged abductor Phillip Garrido with his home business, sorting out orders by phone or e-mail. She occasionally greeted customers alone at the door. She even went out in public. But she apparently never made a run for it, returning each day instead to a shed in Garrido’s backyard, the man who allegedly kidnapped and raped her. Her stepfather Carl Probyn, who witnessed Jaycee being snatched at age 11 from a bus stop in 1991, said later, “She really feels it’s almost like a marriage.”
According to a recent FBI report, 73% of victims display no signs of such affection for their abductors. To my mind, the remaining 27% showing signs of this syndrome is in itself a horrifying number.
Am I being too far fetched in comparing a marriage – one which sees domestic violence off and on – to the Stockholm Syndrome? I don’t think so. What about you?
Pic credit: Nina Amaho
I am a former bureaucrat, and have worked a lot on gender issues, disaster management and good governance. I am also the proud father of two lovely daughters. read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
It is shameful that in today's world too, women are abused and even killed for giving birth to a girl, and the infant's life is also of no value.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
Why someone have to lose a life to bring such awareness to the society. Delhi High Court gave this judgement concerning a case that filed by the deceased daughter’s parents against her in-laws. She committed suicide as she was harassed and tortured for dowry and giving birth to two daughters.
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