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Unless you had been living under a rock the past one week, you must have heard about the Canadian couple who have decided to raise their child genderless. They have not revealed the gender of their third child and this news has been making waves all over the internet. While I do not agree with the parents’ choice (which I find too extreme), I can’t help but nod my head when they say there are gender stereotypes.
Even before the baby is born, parents start to buy a few essential things and gender plays a big picture there. For Indians, knowing the gender of the baby is not a choice, so we go with gender neutral colors, but parents in other countries choose colors and toys based on the gender of the baby. They end up choosing pink and pastels for girls and blues and bold colors for boys. I personally know one woman who designed her nursery with a pink theme (she thought she was going to have a girl), but when she realized it was a boy, she sold all of it and bought new things in blue color.
As the baby grows, more choices are made based on the gender. It’s dolls for girls whereas guns for boys. Pink crocs for girls and blue gliders for boys. It gets worse as you grow. Barbie for girls and bey blades for boys.
We can raise our children ‘genderless’ in many ways. Let the boy play with dolls if he likes (mine does) and if the girl does not like wearing lacy frocks, let her be. The sky is not going to fall over if boys wear pink and girls play with guns. As parents, we do have some control over how our child sees the world and let us use that to make it as gender-neutral as possible.
Anamika is a working mother who is constantly trying to conquer the mythical work-life balance. She knits and reads when she manages to find some spare time. She blogs about her experiences with motherhood on her blog, A Slice of Life.
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
If her home and family seem to be impacted by her career then we expect her to prioritize her ‘responsibilities at home as a woman’ and leave her job.
The entrenched patriarchal norms have always perpetuated certain roles and responsibilities as falling specifically in the domain of either men or women. Traditionally, women have been associated with the domestic sphere while men have been considered the bread winner of the household. This division of roles has become so ingrained in our lives that we seldom come to question it. However, while not being questioned does give the system a certain level of legitimacy, it in no way proves its veracity.
This systematic division has resulted in a widely accepted notion whereby the public sphere is demarcated as a men’s zone and the private sphere as belonging to women. Consequently, women are expected to stay at home and manage the household chores while men are supposed to go out and make a living with no interest whatsoever in the running of the household.
This divide is said to be grounded in the intrinsic nature of men and women. Women are believed to be compassionate, affectionate and loving and these supposedly ‘feminine’ qualities make them the right fit for caring roles. Men, on the other hand are allegedly more sturdy, strong and bold and hence, the ones to deal with the ordeals of the outside world.
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