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5 years ago, a lot of things used to upset me. An “incorrectly” loaded dishwasher, a snide remark, a relative/friend forgetting to wish us on an important occasion, bad food, irritating company… Then I went through infertility treatment. Faced the possibility of never having another baby to hold. Got pregnant, felt the baby move and got overwhelmed because a dream I had been afraid to dream came true. Then I lost my job, suffered a few side effects of hormone therapy during IVF, faced a few health scares and lost my dad rather unexpectedly.
All these misfortunes put things in perspective for me. I had lost my job but I was lucky we were financially stable enough for me to stay at home for a while and care for my younger daughter who was often falling sick at the daycare. I had hypertension, but at least it had been diagnosed early and was under check. The only event I could not find a positive side for was (and still is) my father’s death. But his death has taught me so much! It taught me how fickle life is. I have my husband and my children today. I could lose one of them tomorrow, or they could lose me. Keeping that in mind, is a correctly loaded dishwasher really that big of a deal? I learned to let go of things, to differentiate what mattered from what didn’t.
Even now some things do bother me. An incorrectly loaded dishwasher still makes my fingers itch to set it straight, but I can control that urge now. A gift that receives no thanks from the receiver still makes me wonder about their manners. Rude and unruly kids still make me grind my teeth and display a fake smile. But these things no longer make me want to express my opinions loud and clear. I have learned to keep a lid on my thoughts and opinions when expressing them isn’t going to accomplish anything except increase my own angst. At the same time, funnily enough, I have learned to speak my mind clearly when it is needed. I don’t hesitate in saying what I believe but I also have learned to say it more kindly and tactfully.
So what things upset you? And, more importantly, how do you handle them? Here is what I have learned regarding how to handle things that are upsetting.
Cee Kay is a mother of two girls, a networking professional, a cooking enthusiast and a resident of Norwalk, CT (USA), trying to peel herself off of her old doormat mode and transforming herself into read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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