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5 years ago, a lot of things used to upset me. An “incorrectly” loaded dishwasher, a snide remark, a relative/friend forgetting to wish us on an important occasion, bad food, irritating company… Then I went through infertility treatment. Faced the possibility of never having another baby to hold. Got pregnant, felt the baby move and got overwhelmed because a dream I had been afraid to dream came true. Then I lost my job, suffered a few side effects of hormone therapy during IVF, faced a few health scares and lost my dad rather unexpectedly.
All these misfortunes put things in perspective for me. I had lost my job but I was lucky we were financially stable enough for me to stay at home for a while and care for my younger daughter who was often falling sick at the daycare. I had hypertension, but at least it had been diagnosed early and was under check. The only event I could not find a positive side for was (and still is) my father’s death. But his death has taught me so much! It taught me how fickle life is. I have my husband and my children today. I could lose one of them tomorrow, or they could lose me. Keeping that in mind, is a correctly loaded dishwasher really that big of a deal? I learned to let go of things, to differentiate what mattered from what didn’t.
Even now some things do bother me. An incorrectly loaded dishwasher still makes my fingers itch to set it straight, but I can control that urge now. A gift that receives no thanks from the receiver still makes me wonder about their manners. Rude and unruly kids still make me grind my teeth and display a fake smile. But these things no longer make me want to express my opinions loud and clear. I have learned to keep a lid on my thoughts and opinions when expressing them isn’t going to accomplish anything except increase my own angst. At the same time, funnily enough, I have learned to speak my mind clearly when it is needed. I don’t hesitate in saying what I believe but I also have learned to say it more kindly and tactfully.
So what things upset you? And, more importantly, how do you handle them? Here is what I have learned regarding how to handle things that are upsetting.
Cee Kay is a mother of two girls, a networking professional, a cooking enthusiast and a resident of Norwalk, CT (USA), trying to peel herself off of her old doormat mode and transforming herself into read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Being a writer, Nivedita Louis recognises the struggles of a first-time woman writer and helps many articulate their voice with development, content edits as a publisher.
“I usually write during night”, says author Nivedita Louis during our conversation. Chuckling she continues,” It’s easier then to focus solely on writing. Nivedita Louis is a writer, with varied interests and one of the founders of Her Stories, a feminist publishing house, based in Chennai.
In a candid conversation she shared her journey from small-town Tamil Nadu to becoming a history buff, an award-winning author and now a publisher.
Nivedita was born and raised in a small town in Tamil Nadu. It was for schooling that she first arrived in Chennai. Then known as Madras, she recalls being awed by the city. Her love-story with the city, its people and thus began which continues till date. She credits her perseverance and passion to make a difference to her days as a vocational student among the elite sections of Madras.
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